Conte reveals Squid Game fitness camp after brutal Spurs training session

Antonio Conte is putting his Tottenham side to the test of their pre-season rhythms in a Squid Game-style training camp, Paddy Power News understands.

Fresh from throwing up after a grueling first day of physical training on the first day of their tour of Korea, the Spurs stars are now forced to endure their coach’s sadistic whims in a torturous series of games based on the hit TV show.

“When we asked him where he wanted pre-season training this summer, he just asked ‘you’ve seen Squid Game, haven’t you?'” explained a source within the Tottenham hierarchy, “and then he laughed wide-eyed during a while”. solids 10 minutes.”

The 52-year-old requested that a 32-foot-tall replica of himself be built at the training complex in Seoul, where Tottenham players are fighting to the death to form the final 25-man panel for next season.

Atop the statue, the Italian trainer was reportedly heard roaring, “No red light, you fucking sloths! Green light all the time! Run run run!” as he takes out players with a BB gun who stumble and stumble during relentless conditioning exercises.

And some have begun to question the wisdom of these methods.

“Eric Dier has already said goodbye to his wife and children,” a tearful club employee told us. “He falls down enough on his own, there’s no way he’s going to survive this.”

While there are fears that Harry Kane has already dropped a “U upstairs?” message to Pep Guardiola with a view to escaping the hell of Conte’s pre-season regime.

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It’s not all bad news for Tottenham fans though, as Matt Doherty took a knock during exercise, prompting Spurs to tweet in celebration as if they had just reached the League Cup final.

“Name my newborn Antonio after this. Genius. #COYS,” @whitecock_6061 announced after the news broke, while @DanTheLaneTHFC requested that the club release a special edition DVD of the training session.

However, numerous players within the team are not that interested in the coach’s methods.

In fact, several made panicked calls to their agents begging them to make up any bullshit transfer rumors just to avoid flying to Korea while rumors about the preseason itinerary circulated.

“Look at Tanguy Ndombele, sitting on his butt at home waiting for a move while drinking my own piss and trying to fend off a bunch of Davinson Sanchez youth team players with a chair just to get screwed. night’s sleep,” a team member reportedly fumed during a particularly intense 24-lap workout before breakfast.

And the Tottenham boss needs to ensure that enough of his squad survive training camp to register a squad for next campaign.

“Antonio knows that Daniel Levy would rather scrape the remains of Harry Winks off the floor of the tug-of-war pit and start as a central midfielder than pay for anyone else, so it should be easier with them once he’s whittled down the squad. a little”, they told us.

*Paddy Power’s breaking football news coverage is 100% fake news*

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